Oback's Comprehensive Mandating Plan

You Americans are energy pigs and the world is not going to allow you to continue to be energy pigs. It's just not fair. I have a comprehensive energy plan that will reduce consumption and the cost of energy for all Americans and will also increase our reputation in Europe and around the world.

My first steps as president will be to rein in the oil companies with a windfall profits tax, and a full investigation of oil company price gouging. I will reinstate the presidential executive order banning drilling on the outer continental shelf and in the eastern Gulf of Mexico. ANWR will remain off limits to oil drilling. There will be no new refineries or nuclear power plants during my watch. These policies will allow us to usher in a glorious new age of green renewable alternative energy and after 30 to 50 years we will no longer be dependent on foreign oil imports.

My green economy and climate change program includes the following:
1. mandate an emissions cap and trade auction,
2. mandate hybrid cars and biofuel infrastructure,
3. mandate 25% to 30% renewable fuel electricity,
4. mandate zero emissions buildings,
5. mandate flex fuel vehicles,
6. mandate speed limits,
7. mandate mileage standards,
8. mandate personal carbon limits for each citizen, and
9. anything else I can think up to mandate.

All of this mandating and change would wear out an old guy like John McCain but with my youth and inexperience, I can assure you that you can have hope that I will mandate things until the cows come home as they say in my home state of Illinois.

So vote for me and you can have hope, change and audacity all in a single package: me.

I'm Oback Arama and that's why I'm running for president.

Oback Arama and High Energy Prices

Fellow Americans, I felt that it was important to summarize my policies concerning high energy prices:

1. I will tax the windfall profits of all domestic oil companies.

2. I will allow no drilling on the outer continental shelf in any currently unleased locations.

3. I will allow no additional nuclear power plants during my presidency.

4. I will allow no drilling in ANWR.

5. I will endorse a cap and trade carbon emissions law which severely penalizes the majority of our current energy producers and users.

6. I will enforce conservation through speed limits, automotive MPG requirements, enforced car pooling, enforced mass transit use, centralized government thermostat control in commercial and residential buildings, a restriction on suburban residential growth, a ban on interstate trucking, nationalization of the US rail industry, nationalization of the US airline industry, and ultimately the nationalization of all US energy industry.

The above measures will either increase energy prices, or cause severe dislocation for many of our citizens, but that will be good for America and fair for the world.

I know that these measures will not be popular, but it's time we stopped using more than our share of the world's energy. I know that the United Auto Workers, Teamsters, airline workers, energy workers and other hard working Americans will have some employment difficulties due to the destruction of their jobs, but I am confident that if they vote for me, they can have the audacity of hope that many more ethical and environmentally responsible jobs will be created for them in emerging green industries.

My hope and your hope should be that we can take our failed Democrat policies of the past and make them work this time. It will require that we all sacrifice with a little discomfort here and there. Just put a sweater on over yur sweat gear in the winter and take off your underwear in the summer. I know that we can do it if we unite together, and crush anyone in the opposition with quick and severe enforcement.

Can we do it?

Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can!

I'm Oback Arama and I approved this message.

Oback Arama and Energy Solutions

How many times do I have to say "We can't drill ourselves out of our energy problems". I have also said until I'm blueish in the face "drilling won't lower gas prices in the immediate future". Why don't you people listen to me! The oil companies already have 68 bazillion acres to drill off shore and they aren't drilling on it. Our US oil companies are stupid not to drill at today's prices. If only they had the brains and oil experience of Congressman Maxine Waters. When I am president, if and when they drill on the leases we have given them, I will give them a couple more acres here and there for future drilling.

My short term solution will be to limit all people to one electric golf cart and no automobiles. This will save massive amounts of energy and also wear and tear on our interstate highway system. I will give every taxpayer a tax rebate in the form of a bus pass or a mass transit pass so that every American can experience the joy and convenience of mass transit. This will cause an upsurge in ridership and a decrease in auto use.

My long term solution will be to nationalize all of the US oil companies to achieve energy independence. With the considerable oil production experience of the US Congress and the massive brain power of our House and Senate energy committees, we will soon be selling oil to Saudi Arabia and Iran and gasoline will be selling for a mid 20th century price of 25 cents a gallon. With economies of scale due to nationalization of oil we will be making money hand over fist, so I will introduce an oil profits lock box that we will be able to dip into in the unlikely event that there are cost overruns in some of my domestic program initiatives.

I know that some will say that this will set our sights too high and that we are too divided and disillusioned to ever come together around this commune purpose. But I have hope and you can have hope that we can change and institute these grand initiatives. Also, if you give me a filibuster proof congress, we can achieve the unity we need by crushing the opposition into unity whether they like it or not. I have hope that the stockholm syndrome will eventually change their point of view. Now that's change that works for me and change that we all can believe in. Can you have the audacity of hope that we can change and do these things? Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can!

I'm Oback Arama and I approved this message.