Oback Arama - Vote Early and Often

I'm Oback Arama and I'm running for President. When you go to the polls, remember to vote early and vote often, especially in Ohio and Florida. As you pull the lever for me, remember that I am the candidate of hope and change, and change that works for you, and change that you can use, and real change not like the last eight years. Also remember that I will send you a check from the US government of Oback Arama even if you don't work. And if you need an abortion, I will pay for it personally so that you don't have to be punished with a baby.

I will do all of these things and I will, in addition, be holding a drawing of all ballots cast for me for several prizes. First prize will be a ride on the Oback Air Force One flying fortress, second prize will be a ride in my bullet proof Oback mobile presidential limosine, and third prize will be a an autographed picture of future pardonee Tony Rezko, without whose quiet help I might be heading for the Big House, instead of running for the White house. Remember that your right to vote is a precious gift of past patriots of this country, and your right to vote a second time, third time, fourth time, and fifth or more time is a precious gift from ACORN due to the generous donation of 800,000 greenbacks that I, Oback Arama provided to that wonderful non-partisan, non-profit group.

So feel the love and vote for the Oback Arama nation of United States. It will be a glorious journey of four years of social progress and I want you on board the hope and change express. Can we do it?

Yes we Can! Yes we can! Yes we can!

I'm Oback Arama and I approved this message.

Oback and Climate Change

My fellow American comrades, I keep hearing people on the right say that global warming, or as the politically astute call it “climate change”, is a hoax or a scam or some equivalent pejorative. I must tell you that whether it truly exists is irrelevant. The true value of it is its practical application by the party apparatus as a vehicle to gain power over the government and the people of our great nation. Once we establish the carbon cap and trade legislation that we have proposed, we will be able to regulate every aspect of the life of our citizens including even breathing. That may seem excessive to some, but as you know we all emit the evil green house gas CO2 with every breath we take.

Just lately we have felt the wrath of some of the extreme elements of the citizenry about drilling for oil. First I want to tell you that we cannot drill our oil…ah, aaah, wait a minute, we can’t drill out of the way…no, I mean, ah, just a second…wait, I think I have it now…, Ok, yeah, ah, if we drill out in the ocean, ya know, like in, ya know, ahh, in ANWR, then all we need to do is, you know, blow up our tires with more air an then ANWR drilling won’t be giving us anymore oil or gasoline than we could save. I mean, why would we drill if we can just tune up our engines and inflate up our tires and make up for any drilled oil or gasoline we could get? It just doesn’t make sense. But if we have to do it in order to maintain our control over the Congress, then we could, you know, just say we’ll allow them to drill a little bit or maybe just study drilling in some of the places, like offshore and I don’t think studying would release too many green house gases. We’ll make drilling just a part of the legislation and we’ll make it contingent on raising taxes on the oil companies and some other related things like some targeted give away to someone in Pelosi’s or Reid’s or Murtha’s district or somewhere where I could use a few extra votes. Then later when we get a better majority in the Congress, we’ll just kill the drilling and the studying and keep the extra taxes. Then the bozos that wanted us to drill will be on the outside looking in while we start our change and hope stuff and our climate change programs.

Now is definitly the moment that we have been waiting for and the hope and change that can work for us is coming and will fill us all with anticipation for that glorious day of my inauguration as leader of the Oback Arama nation. That's hope and change that works for me. Can you all have hope for that kind of change? Everyone together now!

Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can!

That's why Oback Arama is running for President.

Oback Arama and "THE BOMB" at Pearl Harbor

There are some who have taken snippets of my recent speech in Indiana that referred to Pearl Harbor and accused me of gaffing. So I will publish the statement in context so that you will see that it is not a "gaffe" as some have charged. Here is the statement:

"But it is wonderful to be back in Indiana. In a few moments, we’ll open up the discussion. But I want to offer a few comments about some of the emerging threats that we face in the 21st century and offer some ideas about how we can face those threats.
Throughout our history, America’s confronted constantly evolving danger, from the oppression of an empire, to the lawlessness of the frontier, from the bomb that fell on Pearl Harbor, to the threat of nuclear annihilation. Americans have adapted to the threats posed by an ever-changing world."

Now, no one can dispute that a bomb fell on Pearl Harbor. In fact, as we all know, many bombs were dropped by the Germ... uhh... umm... hold on one second, I can't hear myself, by the ahh.. all right, ok, uhh, oh yeah, you know, aah... by the enemy on D-Day at Pearl Harbor. The particular single bomb type weapon that I was referring to was the one that fell on the battleship that's out there in the harbor. You know, the one with that memorial thingee on top of it. So I was correct as you can see and within the context of what I was saying, there was no, in point of fact, actual gaffe spoken or committed by me or the Oback Arama campaign.

So the media and my opponents need to stop the politics of personal destruction and fear, and start talking about the facts and substance of this campaign. We need to be talking more about change and hope and a looking at the future for our generations that will be in the future after us and our children and our children's children and our children's children's children.

That's change that works for me, and that's why Oback Arama is running for president.

Oback and Evangelicals

I have hope that I can get enough of the evangelical vote to put me over the top. I don't need a lot of it. My strategy is to soft pedal the abortion thing and perhaps claim a change of heart on the late term and accidently born alive issue. I don't understand the reasons behind the evangelical love affair with fetuses. There is no way that a mere blob of tissue's right to life trumps the right of the mother to terminate it but I'm willing to risk losing a few pro-choice votes to gain a bigger chunk of the evangelical vote. Besides, who else do the pro-choicers have to vote for?

My other tactical thrust is to press the social gospel program to the limit that I can and to keep emphasizing my "born again" experience. Those things should give comfort to evangelicals who differ with me or feel uncomfortabe with my positions on certain less weighty issues. It also gives my "yes we can" followers amunition for debate with dangerous "right wing" evangelicals. The right wingers will never vote for me but I don't need them anyway. I only need to peel off a percentage of the rest to reach the goal.

I have the audacity of hope that I can pull this off.

I'm Oback Arama and I'm running for president

Oback and the Illusion of Flips and Flops

I had hoped that my previous post on this subject would have put this issue to rest but I feel that I must again respond to the vigorous false charges that claim that I have been shifting positions on the issues. Those who complain are making a basic philosophical error as I will now show you.

Because I received my education in the halls of the Ivy League and because I am a true 20th century liberal, you should know that truth to me has a relative quality. With respect to the issues in this campaign the truth is, of course, relative to my ability to get elected. So to those who have the primative view of truth being absolute, it would seem that my positions have shifted when in fact they have remained bedrock "true" to the anchor of my electability. These complaints of flips and flops are evidence of the intellectual bankruptcy of the neanderthal political right and it would be laughable if it weren't so pathetic. My presidency will bring hope, change and a clearer view of truth to our great country.

I'm Oback Arama and I'm running for president.

Oback Arama and High Energy Prices

Fellow Americans, I felt that it was important to summarize my policies concerning high energy prices:

1. I will tax the windfall profits of all domestic oil companies.

2. I will allow no drilling on the outer continental shelf in any currently unleased locations.

3. I will allow no additional nuclear power plants during my presidency.

4. I will allow no drilling in ANWR.

5. I will endorse a cap and trade carbon emissions law which severely penalizes the majority of our current energy producers and users.

6. I will enforce conservation through speed limits, automotive MPG requirements, enforced car pooling, enforced mass transit use, centralized government thermostat control in commercial and residential buildings, a restriction on suburban residential growth, a ban on interstate trucking, nationalization of the US rail industry, nationalization of the US airline industry, and ultimately the nationalization of all US energy industry.

The above measures will either increase energy prices, or cause severe dislocation for many of our citizens, but that will be good for America and fair for the world.

I know that these measures will not be popular, but it's time we stopped using more than our share of the world's energy. I know that the United Auto Workers, Teamsters, airline workers, energy workers and other hard working Americans will have some employment difficulties due to the destruction of their jobs, but I am confident that if they vote for me, they can have the audacity of hope that many more ethical and environmentally responsible jobs will be created for them in emerging green industries.

My hope and your hope should be that we can take our failed Democrat policies of the past and make them work this time. It will require that we all sacrifice with a little discomfort here and there. Just put a sweater on over yur sweat gear in the winter and take off your underwear in the summer. I know that we can do it if we unite together, and crush anyone in the opposition with quick and severe enforcement.

Can we do it?

Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can!

I'm Oback Arama and I approved this message.

Oback Arama and Flips and Flops

I’m not sure what my critics mean by “flip/flop” on issues. I have had a perfect consistency on all of my positions since I started public life. My critics are starting out with false premises that of course lead to false conclusions. They think that Democrat politics are logical, that policies must be consistent within their own context, and that truth is something that has an absolute quality about it. What I believe and have shown consistently is that truth has a relative quality about it. It brings to mind the words of a famous Roman procurator who asked many years ago “What is truth?” Well, for us Democrats, the truth is whatever will get us elected to office. By using that parameter, you right wing bozos will finally see the consistency of our words and actions. Now, have I confused you? If so, then try this on for size: truth is whatever I say it is. After all, I am Oback Arama. I’m for change, even for changing the definition of truth.

That’s change that works for me and change I can believe in. Can you believe in that kind of change?

Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can!

I’m Oback Arama and I approved this message

Oback Arama and Drilling for Oil

Frankly, I am disapointed that the price of gasoline has risen as rapidly as it has. I would have preferred a more gradual increase to current levels. I support a gradual increase in price to the price paid in European countries in the range of $9 to $10 per gallon. That will constrict demand so that people will switch to driving golf carts to work and to grandma's house.

Yes, it's true that high gas prices will hurt the middle class the most but it's time they learned that the world is sick and tired of our using so much energy and the middle class just needs to get over it. Yes, yes, I know that Democrat policies have caused the high prices that are destroying the auto industry, the trucking industry, the travel industry and other energy intensive industry, but our standing in the eyes of the world will increase dramatically if we reduce our use of fossil fuels. I am counting on the fact that the unions will still support me and those boz.. irr... aaah workers will still vote for me and when they do, I will get new and better and more ethical jobs for them in green industries that the auto workers and teamsters will love.

The right is so ignorant about the laws of supply and demand. Just because you increase supply by drilling doesn't mean that prices will come down, at least that's what my advisors and the Democrat brain trust in Congress keep telling me. When you elect me to be your president, I promise to use sound Democrat laws of supply and demand such as: confiscating obscene profits from our evil domestic oil companies, starting Justice Department investigations of oil company price gouging, and additional regulation of oil companies and the securities industry. Long term I will mandate that states develop and implement a centralized mechanism controlling the thermostat settings of all residential and business property.

You can have hope that I will change these things and others to bring us to policies that will make us feel good about ourselves. Riding in golf carts is change that works for me and change that I can use. Can you use that kind of hope and change?

Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can!

That's why I'm running for president.

I'm Oback Arama and I approved this message.

Oback Arama and Energy Solutions

How many times do I have to say "We can't drill ourselves out of our energy problems". I have also said until I'm blueish in the face "drilling won't lower gas prices in the immediate future". Why don't you people listen to me! The oil companies already have 68 bazillion acres to drill off shore and they aren't drilling on it. Our US oil companies are stupid not to drill at today's prices. If only they had the brains and oil experience of Congressman Maxine Waters. When I am president, if and when they drill on the leases we have given them, I will give them a couple more acres here and there for future drilling.

My short term solution will be to limit all people to one electric golf cart and no automobiles. This will save massive amounts of energy and also wear and tear on our interstate highway system. I will give every taxpayer a tax rebate in the form of a bus pass or a mass transit pass so that every American can experience the joy and convenience of mass transit. This will cause an upsurge in ridership and a decrease in auto use.

My long term solution will be to nationalize all of the US oil companies to achieve energy independence. With the considerable oil production experience of the US Congress and the massive brain power of our House and Senate energy committees, we will soon be selling oil to Saudi Arabia and Iran and gasoline will be selling for a mid 20th century price of 25 cents a gallon. With economies of scale due to nationalization of oil we will be making money hand over fist, so I will introduce an oil profits lock box that we will be able to dip into in the unlikely event that there are cost overruns in some of my domestic program initiatives.

I know that some will say that this will set our sights too high and that we are too divided and disillusioned to ever come together around this commune purpose. But I have hope and you can have hope that we can change and institute these grand initiatives. Also, if you give me a filibuster proof congress, we can achieve the unity we need by crushing the opposition into unity whether they like it or not. I have hope that the stockholm syndrome will eventually change their point of view. Now that's change that works for me and change that we all can believe in. Can you have the audacity of hope that we can change and do these things? Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can!

I'm Oback Arama and I approved this message.

Oback Arama for President

Posted originally on Monday, June 23, 2008 11:42:20 PM

Hello, my fellow Americans. A new day is dawning in America. The warm wind of change and hope is blowing our way. We can change the direction of this great nation to a new direction, a direction that's different from the old direction, a direction that we can all believe in, a direction that we can hope will change the way we are going, and a direction that works for us. As I’ve traveled all across these United States, I’ve sensed a hunger for change from everyone I’ve met. A desire for bringing people from different backgrounds and histories together to tackle the great challenges we face. There is a hope beyond all hope that we can make a difference that will move us forward to a bright new future for our children, our children’s children and our children's children's children. It is a future that is in front of us and that we can be proud to claim as our own; a future that promises a new beginning, a new middle and a new end, not just for the few but for all of America; a future that binds us together to achieve a greatness that we could never have dreamed possible.

If you will join with me in this noble venture we can look forward to achieving the hope of every individual, every cultural entity and every illegal immigrant. We can look forward to a nation where the seas and oceans stop rising; a nation where hurricanes will no longer ravage our shorelines; a nation where tornados will no longer reek havoc on our countryside; a nation where all children will be equally and ineffectively educated by the state; a nation with a health care system rivaling that of the former German Democratic Republic and Cuba; a nation where all will share equally in our national income according to the needs of each person; a nation where every person will work for the state according to his ability; a nation where corporations will be owned, nurtured, and invested in through the state and the collective will of working people. We can do these momentous things if we unify our goals and demand change we can believe in; change that works for you; change that I believe will make this country great again and that will increase our standing among the many nations of the world. That’s why I’m running for president and I believe that together we can do it.

Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can!

I’m Oback Arama and I approved this message.

Oback Arama and Life Issues

Posted originally on Tuesday, June 24, 2008 12:53:07 AM
I’m Oback Arama and I’m running for president of this great country. I believe that every living and breathing person save just a few has the right to choose and that’s why I’m pro-choice. I’m a strong believer in the right to life of those who can vote and send money to my campaign. I have the audacity of hope that individuals like you and noble organizations like Planned Parenthood and NARAL will reach deep down into your pockets and bank accounts and write a check to me because of my stance on the lives of the voting public. That’s the kind of pro-life position I can believe in.

I’ve stood up to those repressive regressives who would attempt to protect products of conception after only eight or nine months of pregnancy. While a member of the Illinois Senate, I was a strong voice of reason in the defeat of an immoral bill that would have protected products of conception accidently born living and breathing from being terminated by heroic abortionists in our state. Why should these blobs of tissue have the right to live just because they are living and breathing outside of the womb. After much counseling from their health professional abortionists and abortion mill counselors, these mothers made the moral decision to terminate and why should a breathing, living blob of tissue with a beating heart stand in the way of that decision. I stood up when it was hard, when it was risky and when it wasn’t popular. And because I stood up, a few more stood up; and then a few thousand stood up; and then a few million stood up and standing up with clear purpose and courage we made it safe for abortionists and mothers to terminate the breathing and the heart beat of products of conception accidently born alive in my great state of Illinois, the Land of Lincoln.

If you believe as I do that every living and breathing child should be either a wanted child or it should be snuffed out, if one so chooses, then I have the audacity of hope that I can count on your vote and all of the change in your pocket and bank account for my campaign. Together we can continue to terminate unwanted breathing non-voting blobs of tissue.

That’s change and hope that I can believe in. Can we all believe in that?

Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can!

That’s why I’m running for president.

I’m Oback Arama and I approved this message.

Oback Arama and Energy policy

Postedoriginally on Tuesday, June 24, 2008 12:54:36 PM

I'm Oback Arama and it’s time for a new day in American energy policy. I have hope that the changes I will institute will bring down the price of gas at the pump, bring down the level of the oceans and protect our homeland from hurricanes and tornados.
First, I‘m going to shut down market speculation by closing the Enron loophole. Then I am going to institute a windfall profits tax on the insane profits of Exxon Mobile and other American oil companies. By increasing their taxes they will be forced to lower the price of gasoline. Their approximate average of 10% return on investment is obscenely excessive. Next I will tax any other evil corporation with a return on investment in excess of 10%. I will be appointing Ralph Nader as my new Secretary of the Department of Reasonable Profits. My long term plan for bringing down oil prices is the nationalization of the oil companies in the US. I have vital experience in the oil industry due to the fact that in Illinois where I was a state senator we have some oil wells. The US government will bring the efficiencies of central government and planning to our energy problems. I will be appointing Maxine Waters as my new Secretary of the Department of Oil due to her intimate knowledge of the oil industry and socili... oops, I mean, aaaah, taking over things.

In my first 100 days as president, my face to face talks with President Ahmadinejad will insure the free flow of oil from Iran and our withdrawal from Iraq will bring an increased good will flow of oil from all oil producing nations of the world including that of our comrade, President Chavez. This is change that my extensive experience in foreign affairs and my winsome personality will bring to this nation, I’m pretty sure. I have the audacity of hope to think it will and that should be enough. Together we can do it. Remember that I need for you to send all of your change to me, pennies, nickels, quarters and even JFK half dollars which are cool cause his picture's on them. That’s change that I can use and believe in, and change that works. Can we all believe that? Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can! That’s why I’m running for president.

I’m Oback Arama and I approved this message.

Oback Arama and Change

Posted originally on Wednesday, June 25, 2008 10:54:46 AM

All Americans hope for change they can believe in and hope that there will be a change that works for them. There is a deep hope for change and I believe that a warm wind of hope is sweeping all across this great nation. I have a deep hope that each and everyone of you Americans will go now to your recycling bin and pull out an empty soda or beer can and fill it with all of the loose change you can find and send it to: Oback Arama, US Senate, Washington, D.C. I will take each and every can and fill it with my own breath of hot air and send it back to you C.O.D. Then you will have the substance of the hope and change I’ve been talking about and I will have some real change which is the kind of change I can believe in and the kind of change that works for me. Can you believe in that kind of hope and change?

Yes we Can! Yes we can! Yes we can!

I’m Oback Arama and I approved this message.

Oback Arama, Welfare, and Minimum Wage

Posted originally on Saturday, June 28, 2008 1:52:57 AM

I’m Oback Arama and I’m running for President. I have hope that in America we can revitalize some of the old tried and true policies of our wonderful Democrat party. My first move will be to resurrect the glorious Johnson administration’s War on Poverty and Great Society. Sure these programs spent a lot of money (trillions actually), but if you will give me a filibuster proof US Congress, I promise a sunami of funding that will make LBJ look like a cheap skate. I know that most of these programs were a failure, and that by all but Democrat calculations we lost that war, but that’s because we didn’t spend enough money. If we can spend a zillion dollars putting a man on Mars, then we can certainly spend a gazillion dollars to win the War on Poverty. I vow to spend every bit of change we have, if I must, to win this war. That’s change I can believe in.

Next I will push a bill through Congress raising the minimum wage to $15 per hour. That's a wage that will enable everyone to make enough money. If it turns out not to be enough, I’ll raise it to $20. That'll give more people more money to spend, which will increase spending and increase business receipts to help business owners pay the greater wages. So everyone wins. If people get laid off, we’ll just put them on welfare and pay them the same amount. My ultimate goal is to raise the minimum wage to $100, which will increase economic activity so much that everyone will have a flat screen television in every room of their $200,000 house. You may say, “hey Oback, how come you get to have that house in Chicago worth over a million and my house is only worth $200,000.” To that I must say, “I am Oback Arama.” Besides, I’ll be living in the White House which is worth way more than a million bucks. Once I’m in the White House, just try to get MiBelle and me out of there.

I have hope that these bold changes to our old failed policies will work this time. I want to bring Red State and Blue State America together to move us forward on these old initiatives. With a filibuster proof majority in Congress, we the Blue State majority will cram these programs down the throats of the Red State minority. Now that’s the kind of unity that works for me and that's change that I can believe in. I have hope that we will have the courage to remake America as it should be: a nation where we all can come together and call each other “comrade”. Can we do it?

Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can!

I’m Oback Arama and I approved this message.

Oback Arama and Taxes

Posted originally on Thursday, June 26, 2008 8:25:37 AM

I’m Oback Arama and I want to talk to you about government revenue enhancement. I’ve been all across the however many states of this great nation of ours and I’ve sensed a deep hope for change. What I want to do is change the way you think and hope about taxes. That’s change that works for me, and change that I can use..

No doubt there have been times when you’ve seen something that was unfair or something that has gone wrong and you’ve said “The government should do something about that”. I have the audacity of hope to believe that if we can put a man on Mars, then we certainly should do something about those unfair things and those things that have gone wrong. We know the battle ahead will be tough, but always remember that no matter how tough it may get, nothing can stop us if we scream “CHANGE” loud enough and often enough. Eventually our opponents will give up and say “please, please anything, but please just stop with the ‘CHANGE’ thing. I can’t take it anymore.” When that time comes, my plan will be to institute a 100% withholding tax from every person’s paycheck. Once we have paid all of the bills, we will return an amount to each and every person according to his needs. This will not only be eminently fair but it will also enable us to balance the budget, save Social Security and bring our health care up to the level of the health care in Cuba, in the former Soviet Union, and in the former German Democratic Republic. With our surplus funds, we will take care of all of those unfair things and all of those things that have gone wrong.

They may say that this day will never come; that it is a false hope; that our sights are set too high; that our country was too divided to come together around this commune purpose. But I ask you huddled masses yearning to be in a collective: “If Pol Pot could do it, can we do it?” Yes we can! Yes we Can! Yes we Can! That's why I'm running for President.

I’m Oback Arama and I approved this message.